Top 10 Reasons You Need God in Your Marriage

Recently, I preached at the wedding of some friends of mine who come to our church.  Rather than drone on and on with a stereotypical wedding discourse I decided to repackage my thoughts into a format familiar to most people today, a top ten list.  It seemed to go off very well so I'll share it here.

The top ten reasons you need God in your marriage.

10. Changing each other doesn't work. 

Barbara Streisand once said, "Why does a woman work for 10 years to change a man's habits, and then complain he's not the man she married?"  Rather trying to make each other more like what the other wants, why not make God the center of your marriage and let Him change you into the people He wants you to be.  It's much more effective and you'll like God's changes better.

9. Times will get tough.

There are times when your problems are bigger than both of you put together.  It's nice to know that you can lean on God when all is chaos around you.  We are reminded in Hebrews 13:5 that Jesus has promised, "I will never leave you or forsake you."

8. Money doesn't grow on trees. 

Financial difficulties seem to plague all marriages and can come on at any stage in your relationship.  God has promised in Philippians 4:19 to provide, "all your needs."  Now there's a promise you can take to the bank.

7. Communication is difficult at times. 

With God, though, you can work through your misunderstandings.  But it's not enough to just say God help this man or woman understand. You have to get on your knees together and pray for help.  God will see you through those times of miscommunication and confusion if you work through the challenges as a team of 3.

6. You will face tough decisions ahead. 

There are times when you won't know what to do.  Thankfully God does and He will guide you in that direction.  Psalm 32:8 says "I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go. I will guide you with my eye."

5. There are plenty of people out there who would try to steal your spouse away.

There will be temptations. Pray for strength. Stay focused on God.  Pray together.  And He will see you through.

4. Forgiveness doesn't always come easy. 

We learn to forgive each other as we see how God has already forgiven us.  If the focus of your marriage is exclusively on the other person they will repeatedly disappoint us and shake our faith in the relationship.  But if we focus on God we are reminded of all He has forgiven us and we will have the proper perspective in order be able to forgive each other.

3. Marriages take planning. 

Couples don't just get to where they want to be in life on accident.  Together you must plan where you want to go.  But even the best plans don't always work out.  Thankfully, God leads through His providence.  Proverbs 16:9 says, "A man's heart plans his way but the Lord directs his steps."

2. Health is fleeting. 

We all grow old.  Eventually everyone experiences health difficulties and often times it is up to the spouses to take care of each other.  It is of great comfort to know that the Great Physician is on your side and can help and heal.

1. The couple that prays together stays together.

Sociological research repeatedly indicates that couples united in prayer stay together at higher rates than those that aren't.  One Gallup poll found less than 1% of couples who prayed together daily got divorced.  Prayer and trust in God is the greatest glue to hold your marriage together.  

Give someone enough rope to hang him/herself.

It seemed like a long time coming.  Too long for most Clippers fans but they are finally under new ownership.  Former owner Donald Sterling had been linked to many race-related controversies and was the bane of the existence of the NBA for many years.  But taking away the ownership of a team however, is not an easy thing to do legally.  In fact the only basketball related discrimination case, which involved Elgin Baylor, a former Clippers executive, was unsuccessful in court.

So finally this summer Sterling was caught on tape asking a girl friend that black people not be brought to the basketball games.  After years of putting up with Sterling the NBA finally had it's smoking gun and they were in a position to force the issue.  Sterling was fined by commissioner Adam Silver the maximum amount of money, banned from all NBA activity for life and recommended to have ownership rights terminated.  Eventually a $2 billion dollar buyout by Steve Ballmer was orchestrated and after many court challenges he took over the team on August 18, 2014.

But some ask why it took so long.  It was well known that Sterling had been involved in racial business practices for years.  But what one knows and what can stand up in court are two very different things, particularly in matters unrelated to basketball.  Sometimes, as the old saying goes, you have to give a person enough rope to hang themselves.  Which is what I believe had to happen with Sterling.  But I also believe it is a Biblical principle as well.

In the parable of the fig tree in Luke 13 the owner calls for the barren tree in his vineyard to be cut down.  The gardener then requests that another year be given to see if a little more time and nurture will not revive the tree.  The owner relents but gives him only one year.  And the parable ends right there.  The fate of the tree is never told.  But that is not the point.  The point is everything must be done to save the tree and if it is not salvageable that must be abundantly clear to all.  To make a hasty judgement before everyone is convinced only leaves room for doubt.  As with the case with the NBA if a negative judgement is made, make sure it is beyond all doubt that the right judgement.  How we deal with others affects more than just them.  It affects everyone around us.  Be sure to give ample opportunity to others and grace sufficient so that everyone who see knows that everything that could have been done was done indeed.

Comfort in His Will

There is nothing more comforting than being in the center of God's will.  Even in difficult times we can have the assurance that God is with us and directing our lives.  As we surrender ourselves to His will in difficult times we can have the peace that we need because we know we are where we need to be, regardless of our circumstances.

There is no promise given that life will always go smoothly.  To the contrary Jesus said, "...In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world." John 16:33.  But God has also promised in Psalm 32:8 "I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will guide you with My eye."  No matter your situation God will lead and guide if you surrender to Him.  It is in that moment when we realize that we are where He wants us to be, that we also realize that there is no other place we would rather be.

Focus

It is much more difficult to suffer from discouragement when your life is not about you and your focus is on God and how He is using you to touch others.

Isaiah 26:3 (NKJV)
You will keep him in perfect peace,
Whose mind is stayed on You,
Because he trusts in You.